Why ‘me time’ is essential in relationships
Refill your soul—you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Being able to be alone and not feel lonely is an art everyone needs to learn. Consuming a lot of content from the psychology pages I follow on IG, I figured that while I am someone who is hyper-independent, I have leveraged it to be able to enjoy doing things alone. It was a journey—my first ‘me time’ date was at a café. After that, I started going on walks by myself, going to the movies alone, and then I graduated to grabbing a drink in solitude. It was only after I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone that I realised, that it actually brings me comfort.
For me, spending time with myself is a way to recharge my energy and my senses, and I desperately crave it when my social battery runs out. Having said that, many people believe that people do things alone because they are single.
When we fall in love—and especially are in the honeymoon phase—we tend to do all things with our partner by our side. Eventually, our social circles blend in, and we end up socialising only as a couple. As someone who has been on the other side, while my friends’ partners are welcome to come along, I have often felt the need for being able to hang out with my friends without their plus ones as well.
According to a 2019 study, more than 80 per cent of individuals, in a relationship, said that they deserve 'me time' and it makes their relationship stronger. Around 40 per cent of participants said they would break up if their partner didn't let them have their own time and 58 per cent said they encourage their partners to get some solitary time too.
‘Me time’ in a relationship doesn’t mean spending time alone. Sometimes, it also means spending time apart and nourishing your individual souls, and here is why it is absolutely essential.
It helps you focus on your individuality
A healthy relationship is when you learn good things from each other. We end up liking what the other person likes, very often. We may also end up nurturing and developing the shared aspects of our interests and personalities, and those that are personal to us, end up getting neglected. You are a whole individual and having regular alone time can help you not lose focus.
It enables you to pursue things you like
The reason I love ‘me time’ so much is that I can do exactly what and when I want. You are two compatible persons and the word to pay attention to here is ‘two’. Whether you want to grow spiritually or learn a new dance form, you should be able to do so, irrespective of whether you have someone to do these with!
It reinforces your independent nature
Spending alone time makes you comfortable with solitude. It makes you independent and fierce, and ready to take on the world. It gives you the confidence to walk into a space, without needing someone by your side. It is okay to help each other with things but it’s also important to be independent and be able to do things on your own.
It gives you time and space to foster thoughts
Life shouldn’t be just about rushing through days and letting things happen to you. It is best lived mindfully; when you can absorb the beauty around you, feel the love for the little imperfections and make decisions based on gratitude. For this, you need to slow down and you need the quiet. You can spend your ‘me time’ just hugging your soul!
It improves conversation
I am someone who shares a lot with my partner. They know all the people in my life, who does what and the little things that excite or disappoint me. If I am constantly with my partner, what will I even talk about? By indulging in your ‘me time’, you will be able to return to them with so much to talk about!
