The secrets to being a wonderwoman at the workplace

Irrespective of what stage they’re at in their career, many working women (every?) have, at some point, had to face the ‘Authority Gap’. Simply put, these are incidents of being underrated, ignored, interrupted, or patronised by male colleagues, in varying degrees. The upsetting part? Even the most well-established and successful can have their years of expertise called into question by male counterparts, who might even be less-qualified than them.

As Mary Ann Sieghart explains in her book, The Authority Gap: Why Women Are Still Taken Less Seriously Than Men, and What We Can Do About It, the way in which the authority gap creeps up can be as insidious as a woman trying to speak in a meeting, only to be talked over by a male colleague. Or, a client blatantly addressing a male subordinate instead of her. According to a study by the US-based fact tank, Pew Research Center, women are four times more likely than men to be “treated as incompetent”. They are also three times more likely subjected to “repeated, small slights because of their gender”.

Owing to this unwarranted approach, women at the same designations as men are also often held to higher standards. And despite being armed with a robust skill-set and proven results, they are likely viewed as less desirable bosses, looked at with distrust when in positions of authority, and, generally, given a harder time. The Reykjavik Index 2021—an annual report designed to explore how comfortable society is with female authority—surveyed countries with a history of long-standing female leadership, including India. It found that even in these nations, “much of the public remains stubbornly resistant to the idea of women in charge”. Shockingly, young men were especially unlikely to endorse female leaders, it concluded. 

Bazaar India spoke to three successful women about this gender-induced discrimination—and how they tackled the authority gap, to make people stand up, take notice, and listen up.

Jayanti Chauhan - Director, Bisleri International 

“I remember dropping out of a Zoom meeting once, as I was spoken to in a very dismissive and insulting manner. I did not want to escalate the matter just then, but I did make sure I expressed my displeasure outside the forum...and chose to never engage with those people again. To all working women, in general, I’d suggest continuing the roles you are playing, with dedication and focus. Your work, and the results it yields, will speak volumes and gain the respect of the people around you. Women are naturally blessed with a wider perspective and sharper instincts. This, combined with a strong sense of self-belief, should give us the confidence to persevere. Remember, doubt is just success testing you. We must learn to believe in ourselves.

Often, those of us who stand up for ourselves are labelled as being ‘aggressive’. This happens to women in both their career and even private life. Honestly, I find being called aggressive a compliment—to me, it means I am passionate. Sure, some people cannot differentiate between the two, but that’s not on me. As long as you are doing a good job, do not concern yourself with whether people like you or not. Be assertive and show up for yourself. That said, I wouldn’t advise being outright abrasive. Rather, be clear and articulate when putting an idea across or executing a plan. And make sure you have done thorough research, so that if anyone questions you, the answers are on your fingertips.

A book that I think can work well to reinstate self-confidence is The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. He speaks in a very informal tone, and shares modern ideas and thoughts that I believe can be applied to today’s generation.

Little things can make a big difference, too. I have learned that interacting with teams that are working on the ground—the ones that actually go into the market, interact with potential clients, and work with distributors—gives you more valuable and real-time information. And that always comes handy. 

When things get messy, you may want to raise your voice, but that never helps. I have seen people do it, and I am not pleased to admit that I have done it myself, in the past. But this one act can shut the other person down and make them feel demotivated. Instead, pause and try to understand what went wrong. Then ask them, ‘How would you fix this? Let’s find a solution together’. That is what I do now. I also follow an open door/open phone policy—anyone can reach out to me, at any time. This makes everyone, including me, feel supported.

Finally, try to stay happy and focussed, no matter what you are going through in your personal life. I know it is easier said than done, but wherever possible, try not to let the private affect the professional.”

Shelly Kapoor Collins - Partner, Sway Ventures, and Investor, Broadway Angels

“Early on in my career, I worked as a programmer for a tech firm. We were a small team, of two other male colleagues (also programmers) and a male boss. In meetings, I’d notice that the boss would ignore me completely, and would only address the other two. It made me doubt myself, and I’d perpetually worry about what I could do to earn his approval. So, I’d work even harder. Eventually, I realised that no matter the exceptional results I’d produce, I’d never be good enough...simply because I wasn’t a ‘bro’. This trend of the authority gap can continue irrespective of the stage you are at. A few years ago, decades into my career, I was working on a product, and had hired a developer. But whenever I’d explain the product to him, he’d always push back and challenge the technical roadmap. I had to ask a male colleague to intervene—who explained everything just as I already had, but the difference in the developer’s ‘understanding’ was night and day, down to his deferential tone, immediate agreement, and clarity.

However, I have never let any of this deter me. My suggestion? Speak up! Be informed, and make your point respectfully. Back your opinion up with data (not emotion), include examples to support your case, and stand firm. If doing so hampers your professional growth, find a team or organisation that supports you. It is essential for women to have a strong support structure in place—one that uplifts us.

Gaining professional trust is simple: show up, and do what you say you are going to do. In fact, by the time you commit to doing something, it should already be done. That way, you will always come through. Some of the best people I’ve worked with are always thinking one step ahead. This attitude stands out and gets rewarded, and, in my opinion, is the sign of a true leader. Consistency is key.

Also, be passionate about what you are doing, and have a purpose. Do not just work at a job; find an ecosystem—figuratively and literally—that feeds your soul and makes you feel like that’s the work you were appointed to do. There will, of course, be situations that will be outside your control, but do not let that deter you. You’ll know if it’s time to move on or stay—but, whatever you do, give your current conditions a fair shot, so you don’t look back in vain or second-guess yourself. 

Above all, know your worth. When more women are in leadership positions, the likelihood of outperformance is higher. Women should remember this, and internalise it. If we do not stand up for ourselves and each other, who will?”

Ajaita Shaikh - Founder and CEO, Frontier Markets 

“I have been working in male-dominated sectors for about 17 years now, including Microfinance and Energy Access spaces. And I have encountered several patriarchal experiences. For instance, I have had to constantly prove that my ‘opinion’ or understanding of the market is based on experience, not just concept. Also, many a time, while securing a business deal, people assume that one of my male team members (who would usually be my junior) is the CEO of the company...not me! There is this abiding sense of underestimation, despite the fact that I am the leader.

Due to these prejudices, women tend to be better prepared than men. And we should be. It is a trick that has always worked for me, in order to make others take me seriously. I always enter meetings loaded with information—with stacks of data and facts. And so, I know that, 99 percent of the time, I will have the answer to any question I am asked. Another thing is that I am willing to do the grunt work—just so I can get noticed. And I attend meetings that I’m not necessarily required to be part of—even if just as a note-taker. It helps me stay keyed-in and be able to share my opinion, later on. 

Body language plays a significant role, too. Be mindful of your posture, stand tall, and be self-assured. When I meet someone, in a professional capacity, I always start with a firm handshake, confidently look the person in the eye, and introduce myself. A solid handshake and purposeful eye contact—with one person at a time—can go a long way in influencing how people perceive you. 

A lot of women suffer from the Imposter Syndrome, and that can play many unfortunate tricks on the way we perceive our worth. It can make us wonder whether we are good enough in the first place. The way I deal with it is that I keep reminding myself of how far I’ve come and what my skills and strengths are. It always helps to remind yourself that it doesn’t matter if things do not work out on a given day; there is always tomorrow. The core principle is self-belief. Wake up every day, aware of your power and ability. Be proud—and be seen. If you are seen, you’ll be heard. And be heard because what you have to say is important. Don’t be timid and do not hesitate to use your voice. For maximum impact, listen more, then respond; and slow down when you are speaking.

The crux of the matter is that we need to fight the stereotypes. I, for example, have re-embraced my sexiness. There is no shortage of dos and don’ts for women—avoid short dresses or heels, don’t wear make-up to office, or speak in a certain way. But showing up for ourselves and owning our space, for me, also means celebrating ourselves, exactly how we want to. I want to look my best, for myself, unapologetically. And so, I will. This mindset will help shift the narrative for the better—because you are letting people see the version of you the way you want to be seen, not what others expect of you.”