How to be a good parent by being a good leader

Children, with their minds like a sponge, have the ability to soak in everything happening around them. With parents being the immediate role models for most of them, they pick up language, actions, and demeanour from them. And before we know, children often become the reflections of their parents. Thus, it is important that parents exhibit good behaviour for the child to ape and boost their overall well-being and development. Leadership is one of the most important skills that a child should learn early on for them to be confident and more individualistic.

The question then arises, what can parents do for their kids to think of them as an individual with good leadership skills? Two therapists give us the answers. 

Set a positive example 

A lot of childhood experiences work on modelling—the child sees the parents do something and imitates it. The way the parent works, communicates, and handles various situations directly influences the child's outlook on life. Parents with good leadership skills provide the child guidance and direction. Parents who are able to effectively communicate what is expected out of the child, establish good understanding, clear boundaries, and rules, which provides structure and a sense of security to the kid. 

Effective communication is everything

Good parenting starts with effective communication. It fosters a strong parent-child relationship, builds trust, and promotes a sense of understanding. When a parent exhibits these skills by expressing their thoughts and feelings clearly and in a concise manner, the child is better equipped to understand themselves better and be in a position to resolve conflict the right way. Thanks to their good leadership skills that support the kid’s independence, encourage their strengths, and boosts their self-esteem, a safe space is created where the child feels capable, valued, and supported. 

Strong values and ethics make a leader 

One of the many things that great leaders have is a strong sense of value and beliefs that they uphold in their actions and decisions. And the right way to have kids follow suit is by letting them know the difference between good and bad, and teaching them that their actions have consequences. Teaching them this life lesson enables parents to consistently model and reinforce positive values. It’s also important for them to show consistency—the child should know that some of the rules set in place will not change as per either of their mood and convenience. 

Consistency and practicing what you preach is important

With children watching every step their parent takes, it’s important for the latter to be consistent in what they say and do. For example, they can’t ask their kids to not use their phones at the dining table, but do so themselves and they can’t break promises when they tell the kid to always be honest. If they want the child to do something, they need to do it themselves. Parents should refrain from giving their child mixed signals as it will create a sense of mistrust for them. 

Parents should behave in ways their kid learns to respect them, take them seriously, and think of them as a guide and mentor. Children will be able to look up to their parents only when they are able to trust their words and action. Parents might get away with a few things when their kids are young, but when they start growing up, they’ll start to find logic. These small things will go a long way in building a strong foundation.

Inputs by Sherene Aftab, founder of Serene Hour Counselling & Career Advice Consultancy, and Mehezabin Dordi, clinical psychologist, Sir H N Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai