"For me, life has just begun at 50, all over again."—Neelam Kothari

There are two categories of people in this world. The first is the people who binge-watched Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives (curled up in bed with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a glass of wine in the other), and the second is the people who believe it’s more cringe-worthy than binge-worthy. Whichever category you find yourself in, you can’t deny the fact that the foursome are hard to ignore. On the second day of the India Today Conclave, Neelam Kothari spoke about being part of a reality TV show and her stronger-than-steel bond with Seema Sajdeh, Maheep Kapoor and Bhavna Pandey. 

Interestingly, Karan Johar thought of making Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives while they were on a flight to Delhi. Kothari reminisced, “When Karan approached us, we were on a flight to Delhi. He said the four of you are so insane and mad, I’ve got to make a show on you. All of us were so excited.” 

However, Kothari said she was nerve-wrecked when everything was finally coming together. She said, “Karan called me one day and said ‘I think the show is happening on Netflix and you’re going to be a part of it’. So, I went for the meeting and immediately started getting cold feet and sweaty palms. I told Karan ‘I cannot do this because I’ve always been in front of the camera and I’ve always done scripted shows and movies. I’ve always played a character but I have never played myself. I was chickening out.”  

Kothari’s apprehensions were about putting her whole life out there for all to see. Not only hers but also her husband's and children's. She said, “It was a scary thing for me. My life was going to be out there. Not only mine, but my family's and my spouse's. But what was a big thing for me was that Samir, my husband, was absolutely fine with having cameras in the house. But it was a complete invasion of privacy. It was challenging at times, but at the end of the day it has done well, and has been appreciated. I am so glad I did it.” 

One of the questions that cropped up in everyone’s mind while and after watching the show was how unscripted is it, really. Do they really fight that much? Does Maheep really go around calling people ‘twats’? She has popularised the term, after all. Thankfully for us, Kothari put this query to rest. She said, “They would tell us that you are going to be shooting at a particular venue, but it’s up to us where we take the conversation, and what we discuss. Whether we decide to fight or cry, it all depends on how the conversation flows. So, it’s not scripted at all.” 

She added, “I’ve known the three for almost 25 years. So, when we are together, we are having a blast. Of course, before the show started, we decided that a few topics were off-limits. But everything is genuine. Like, when we are having fun it’s all real. If there are any fights, it’s all fights.”  

And that is the beauty of Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives, isn’t it? Being privy to inner lives of people that we normally wouldn’t have access to. You can hate-watch it. Cringe at every fight, and scowl at every contentious thing they do, but it’s addictive. However, this aspect was the reason the foursome were ruthlessly trolled and criticised on social media. 

Speaking about how she handled all the comments and memes, Kothari said, “When I was doing films back in the day, there was no social media. So you never really got a sense of how popular you were. However, when the first season released, my DMs were flooding. It was a little overwhelming. There was so much love pouring in from around the world. But when I went to Twitter and YouTube, I saw the comments and called Bhavna and told her that I wanted to go underground. There was a lot of trolling.” She added, “I thought people are hating the show. However, after the second season, when things had opened up, the response was phenomenal. Everyone had watched it.” 

Kothari’s career arc is phenomenal. From being an actor in the '80s and '90s, to owning a successful interior business, to starring in a reality show, it’s been quite a ride. She said, “I was very comfortable with my life. And I am comfortable right now in my zone. This just proves that life is not over when you’re 50. For me, life has just begun at 50, all over again."